Jun 29 2008
P is for Postpartum Depression
It was almost two years ago when I gave birth to my son. I had a pretty easy pregnancy with not much to complain about. The time had finally come, I was enduced into labor due to my overdue status and the alarming large child that was growing inside of me. For 25 hours I struggled with pain and irritability, I was ready to do this and be a mom. W.H arrived into this world via C-section and boy was he big, nearly 10 lb. of cuteness, not to mention a set of lungs that would put any tenor out of business. The next couple of days in the hospital were pretty much somber, although I was happy, I couldn’t quite figure out the gnawing feeling that kept tugging at my stomach. Something was definitely wrong , I knew it, I just did not know exactly what it was. Recovery time is about a week longer for C-section patients so with that in mind I had the Dr. extend my hospital stay, this is not usually the case, however, I had some issues with swelling and slight temperature rises that they gave it a go. When I finally got to go home, I had a feeling of panic shower over me eventhough I knew I would have help from family. The first week was ridiculous, I was so consumed by these emotions I could not function at all. Tending to my baby was so emotional at times, I remember being awake in the middle of the night with a sick feeling and anxiety, when the baby would wake up and cry I would litteraly lose it. I realized I had Post Partum Depression and tried my all to deal with it, let me tell you it was a very difficult task. Hormones and emotions are totally out of control during pregnancy and thereafter, causing the flood gates to a chemical imbalance to open. I suffered at this monster’s hand that took control of my life for nearly one year and made me lose the best moments of motherhood, caring for my infant son. I lost a significant amount of weight due to the lack of apetite, I cried for no reason and I remember saying that I loved my son but I did not want to care for him. I eventually came out of this ok, I had to move back with my parents so they could help me with the caring of my son ( my husband worked an excessive amount of hours) and I talked about my feelings so I could overcome this without medication. To tell you the truth I hardly remember anything about that first year, I was so consumed by the darkness that I could not focus on the light. All I know is that my son was ripped off thanks to his ill mother and sometimes even now I feel like I never completely overcame this . I urge people who suffer from any sort of depression to go out there and get help, it is imperative for the sake of oneself and the people close to them.
